OUT (of the big house): Martha Stewart

IN (the big house): Paris Hilton

Okay, so she hasn't been chucked in a cell...yet, but how amazing would it be if Miss Hilton was put in the slammer?! http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/people/73073,CST-FTR-paris27.article
Would she do a reality show about her life in jail? Would she beg ex-best friend Nicole Richie to visit because Richie is the only person she knows who is thin enough to slip between the bars and break her free?
A new TV show, friends reunited...I have a good feeling about this.

skulls are back!

of course, skulls have been making comebacks forever. that's why we love them! but this sweater is the shit. check it out!

OUT: kelis

skoh, kelis. i know you're expressing your love for your lawfully wedded husband, but really. did you need to turn into a total sket? we LOVED your girl anthem bossy and now you're just turning into a regular video ho. remember when you wore thrift store clothes and had a funky fro? now you're just gyrating like the rest of them. sigh.

OH. MY. GOD.

i just found out the most disturbing thing ever. mostly disturbing because i guess everyone else in the world knew about it and i didn't. let's see if you can follow.

remember my favourite movie from back when i was in brownies? that's right, troop beverley hills! good. stay with me. think back to your nintendo days. the wizard was another good one, right? okay, so you're too young to remember those ones. remember when me and all my high school friends fell in love with angelina jolie in the awesomest movie she ever did? FOXFIRE? right. you're with me so far, right?

what do all those gems of my youth have in common? they all star the fabuloso jenny lewis, of course. look at her there! being all cute and reading cosmo while she's waiting for kevin from the wonder years to realize he's in love with her right before he plays super mario bros 3 in the big competition! i don't even want to go into what an awesome game super mario bros 3 is.

so, you know, you move on in life and grow up and start listening to indie rock, forgetting all about that cute kid from your favourite 80s movies. rilo kiley, for instance. and sadly, when rk is no longer making the music that makes the world go round, you start listening to the awesomeness that is their side projects - the elected and of course, rk's lead singers' side project, jenny lewis and the watson twins.

then one day, you wake up and realize that it is the THE SAME JENNY LEWIS. and you're so flabbergasted at the kid's beauty and great songwriting skills, you just don't know what to say. kudos to you, jenny lewis! the new skulls loves you.

"I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off"

IN: "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls
So catchy, so wise... Why doesn't that guy loosen up those poor pussycats' buttons before they "blow"? Why does he keep frontin', sayin' what he's gon' to do to them but they ain't seen nothin'?

OUT: YIKES! Look at the Pussycat Dolls!



Hmmm, maybe Mr. All-talk-no-action has noticed that:
a) the Dolls have a penchant for spandex which rarely features buttons and,
b) the allegedly hot, sexy Pussycat Dolls actually resemble human-sized versions of generic Barbie-doll wannabes. You know you had one. Your great aunt once bought you a Chrissy doll and you pretended to be excited despite the doll's slightly askew features, stringy plastic hair and cheap clothes. Well, that description fits more than one doll around here.

oh, paris

i'm so sorry i said that you were out. as soon as i announced it on this very blog, she was denied entry to bungalow 8 in new york. of course, deep down inside, she's just as insecure as the mean girls you went to high school with who laughed as you wore your best knock-offs of the fashions you saw in YM.

i mean, i understand how heartbreaking it was for her to not be allowed in and i feel partly responsible. but then to go getting drunk and driving around... well, that was uncalled for.

i'm sorry you're out! if you want in, maybe you should gain a couple and volunteer at a soup kitchen!

in: not telling scotty

okay, one of readers made a good point. if mississauga was never in, then should we even list it on the out list?

i did, however, mention paris hilton, who wore the most awful thing imaginable to the VMAs.

she's out, but matt damon is in (as much as i personally think he's a bore). and, as a tribute to him, enjoy this for your viewing plaisaire....